today

I wasn't sure what to expect out of today's activity but I was pleasantly surprised. To be honest, I don't think I really learned anything new about myself because I was just listing things I knew I liked. I don't really like too many things so it really wasn't a challenge coming up with them. However, I had asked Ilana to interpret my part of the mural and just by looking at it she said "It looks likes you don't want to bother anyone else because you made yours so small." I didn't really notice that, but it was true. That's one of the reasons why I enjoyed doing this. I wanted to capture as much of me as I could on that wall because I know that this is going to be somewhat permanent and when I come back to visit I want to see and remember how I was as a 17 year old. So I think in that way the project was a bit different for me. I didn't figure out anything really new about myself, and that's not what I wanted to take out of it, instead I wanted to be as sure as possible with myself and basically throw it all up on the wall. That's why this is so special to me. I want to document everything that's going on with me right now as much as possible and this mural only helped, and for that I thank you. So don't ever paint over it. Ever. Please.

Last day of Workshops

Well, in a few hours will be my last workshop with Reed. I missed the last Jim Bonnie workshop so I'm happy that I will attending this one.

The last workshop I got a lot of positive feedback on my really rough draft so I'm kind of excited for everyone to read the final product. I still don't think it's perfect given the time constriction but I think it's decent. At first I was a bit apprehensive about writing anything mystery just because I had never done it, or at least without realizing it, but I'm pretty proud of myself. Hopefully everyone will like it. Or at least tell me they like it.

I don't want to summarize the whole experience until it's over so for now this is what you get.

Good morning.

mo' workshops

Jim Bonnie: I have to admit I didn't really commit myself to the last Jim Bonnie workshop. I was having a really, really, good day for the first time in awhile and I really didn't want to shake up my emotions and ruin it for myself. When I come out of the workshop I don't necessarily feel sad, but I don't feel happy either. I really didn't want to release anything because I didn't feel I had anything to release. That's a lie, I think everyone always has something to release I just didn't want to ruin my good day. But I'm sure by Wednesday I'll want to release. I have a research paper due Tuesday which I haven't really gotten ahead on yet. Oh well.

Reed: I'm kind of apprehensive to share my story with everyone. I didn't really know what to expect out of everyone's stories but they were all really good, which is intimidating. Hopefully they'll like mine and it'll make sense and I won't feel inadequite. We will soon find out.

Workshop(s) #2

Today was my second Bonnie experience and I feel the same way I felt last week: confused. I felt relaxed but anxious at the same. I haven't decided if that's a good feeling or not. I'll get back to you. I feel so worn out and drained. But calm. I'll get back to you.

I'm cautiously excited for the next few weeks.

I wish I had more to say about today but thinking about it confuses me. In a stable way. I'll get back to you.

I'm really enjoying the Mystery writing workshop with Reed. I've never attempted to write a mystery story, or atleast never intentionally. It's kind of exciting and different for me. I haven't written a lot lately mostly out of laziness and junior year but this has kind of gotten me back into the swing of things. I forgot how much I enjoyed writing and how much I get out of what I write. It's nice to do something for myself again besides watching Bravo. This alone made the workshop worth it, I doubt this'll be the only thing I take away from the workshop but if it is then that's perfectly fine because I have rekindled my romance with writing once again.

workshop numero uno

The first thing I heard about Jimmy Bonney was that he was going to make me cry. It was a success.

I wasn't sure what the workshop entailed, I figured it was some sort spiritual experience from what everyone was telling me. Which I guess it was in a sense. I was explicity told to not try and explain what we did today and I don't think I could.

When I walked out of the workshop I felt overwelmed, like I didn't really know what to feel. I still feel odd. I can't explain it. I really can't explain anything about the workshop: what we did or how I feel about it.

Excited for next week.

workshop numero uno

I was a little apprehensive when I found out that I was going to be writing/learning about mystery novels. At first I just kind of put mystery/crime/thriller novels into one category (books with detectives and murder). Half way through the lesson I reailzed technically every fiction book falls into "crime". Every book that has some sort plot twist or death or mystery is considered such. I mostly read non-ficton but I'm excited and open to new forms of literature.

My favorite crime book is definetly "American Psycho" by Bret Easton Ellis. And I am for sure taking concepts from that book and using them in my chapter assignment.

I think this'll be good for me to learn. I haven't really written much in awhile so I'm hoping that I'll this'll get me back on track.

I think the most challenging aspect of the assignment is that we're just writing a first chapter to a novel. I feel the need to sum everything up into a short story. I want the reader to know the whole story without reading the whole story but that's not usually what a first chapter of a book entails. We'll see.

This should be interesting.

Back

This is nice. I haven't posted in two weeks due to the vacation. It's nice to post again.

Ok.

This past week we watched Winter's Bone, a movie I wanted to see ever since I saw Dana Carvey host SNL this season. It's my favorite movie we've watched this year for sure. It seems as though I gravitate more towards the newer films, I don't know. I think there's just more a sense of presentness to them, makes it more relatable for me.

The thing about Winter's Bone is that it was so different from our lives. We all have our problems, some bigger than others, but none of our problems (I'm assuming) are to the extent of Ree's. It puts my life into perspective. It's not that it makes me feel better about my life, but upset that this happens. This is someone's reality. I was genuinely scared throughout the movie for that reason.

It was also knowing that Ree's life wasn't going to get better. That was a week of her life. But she still has to struggle. She's not going anywhere because she has to raise her family and she's going to be spending the rest of her life raising her family, unless her brother and sister leave and make something of themselves but by that time it could be too late for her. It's not fair. There's no solution. Usually when I watch a movie there's an obvious solution and when it happens I feel relieved but I just felt worse. I almost wanted them to lose their house just so they could lose it all and go on their separate ways. It's not fair.